Wednesday

Today is the wild and crazy second Wednesday of NaBloPoMo.

I've gotta say that this year's gotta be about the hardest on me to keep up with. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I post, but I seriously have so very little to say, it's just hard.

I got a call today, on my way to the gym, asking for my help at church tonight. I mixed sound for the youth band. It was a nice change of pace, but I really do miss that I didn't get a workout. The endorphins, I've found, have become a dear friend of mine. My brain has come to rely on the reality of relief that those chemicals provide to me. I so prefer the self-medication of endorphins to any other form of self-medication, including those silly little anti-depressants that I still find myself in need of.

Last week, while Middle Mann was in the hospital, I forgot to take my meds as I so often do when there's tons of stuff going on. I mentioned to a friend later in the week that sometimes it seems like it would be better to be diabetic than depressed. At least that way, it would be obvious to those around me when I forget my meds! This person indicated that probably wasn't a good idea; that he'd had a friend die because of that.

Fine. I'll stick with depression. Ugh!