Wednesday, May 9, 2007

This one's for you...

Okay. Please let me start by saying that there are things in my day to day life that I don't like to reveal to anyone except those closest to me. The story that follows is one of those things.

I'm only posting this here because my sweet daughter basically dared me to. And, since I'm an awesome mother AND grown up...I'm not going to back down from her challenge.

So now, a little back story. Insider information...just for you.

Sometimes my tummy gets a little upset. Sometimes, my digestion process is a little quick. Sometimes, it's a little slow. When it gets this way, it is always noisy.

Also, as back story, I grew up in a house that being with family was different than being with real people. We were expected to be normal when we were with other people and not so much when we were with family. Well, immediate family. This was modeled well for me in my youth.

Okay, so here's the story:

I picked Middle Mann from therapy today immediately following work where I was busy and some what anxious. I had cried for personal reasons in the middle of the day and then at the end of the day, I had to bother a doctor for their signature for an enrollment matter. During that encounter, I was asked what I was doing working on this type of project. Stress + anxiety + confrontation = me with nervousness. Clear?

So, I race up to the therapy unit where I am already 3 minutes late in picking him up. (more nervous) His therapist and I talked and I found myself putting my foot in my mouth. I'm really good at this sometimes. (growing anxiety)

I'm leaving with my mann and we race to car like always. I had left his door unlocked. His door was on the close side. I had to walk slowly all the way around the car, unlock my door, sit down, keys in the ignition, and seatbelt on. I beat him to the seatbelt. I mostly always do, but we enjoy the game. It really gets him giggling.

SO, while we were giggling about how I won, an overwhelming urge began rising up within me. Well, it wasn't really rising up. It was certainly stirring though. That gassy bubble started knocking on my back door. Upon realizing that it wasn't probably going to be a quiet one, I started singing a little song that I made up in that exact moment to that sweet boy of mine.

The tune was horrible. It was definitely LOUD. I don't remember the words exactly, but you'll get the picture - I hope.

Also, please remember...when you're with family and not normal people, you don't have to be normal. Socially acceptable - nope! That's out the window.

The song went something like this:
I love to fart!
I love my farts!!!
When that little bubble comes knocking
on the door
it begs to come out!
But my butt says WAIT!
Not until I sing a song!!!

Oh yes! He totally laughed his behind off!! He loved the song!! And honestly, I felt a lot better.

I know, that's not very dignified, but sometimes, life isn't always about that. I'm pretty transparent, ya know??


  1. Did you ever hear the song from the movie "Parenthood?"

    When you're sliding into home
    And your pants are full of foam,

    When you're sliding into third, and you feel a juicy turd,

    When you're sliding into first,
    and you feel you're gonna burst,

  2. That is the most hysterical story I have ever read on a blog. Thank you so much for sharing, and for the laughter that has consumed me. What a fun moment for you and your son, hopefully void of "stink."