Tuesday, April 3, 2007

WalMart fun!

I'm standing there in the line. The very. long. line. at 11:30 at night. in walmart. All of the self service lanes have been closed. Why? Because they don't have enough checkers? Isn't that the point of self check-out?

I observed the probably single mom of probably 2 teenage boys who apparently eat nothing except Totino's Pizza and Stouffer's pot pies while she's left to suck on the V8 fruit fusions. Seriously? Those could have so been my groceries. Clearly I had been in that line too long. I created a whole substory for this poor strangers life while waiting.

Soooo, after waiting for not less than 20 minutes for my turn with the cashier, she's swiping my groceries.

About halfway through, she swipes my cereal. The Muffin Tops. The ones you can only buy at the old WalMart. Oh My GOSH! Those things are so good. So I say to her, "That is the BEST cereal EVER!" and she's all, "Really? I've never tried them." I told her, "Well, you should. They're like if Cinnamon Toast Crunch was on crack...yeah, they're that good!"

Dead silence. Awkward. Dead. Silence.

Since I'm so smart, I started to, um, talk. Since talking helped with the social situation so far, clearly that's a great choice to move forward with. "That is, unless, um, you don't think that crack is awesome...because, well...um...I don't either. Except when you can use it to describe something that's totally a picture of excellent perfection...."

Yeah, I left. I didn't say another word.

Silly things sometimes escape ones mouth leaving one to wonder who that strange person talking is.

Good times. Good times.


  1. Lisa (the girls' moma)April 4, 2007 at 7:29 AM

    "Good times."

    Hahahhahaahhahaaa! I am cracking up! (I'm so PUNNY!) I hope Cass has a chance to read your blog while she's gone because she HAS to know that story. THIS is why we keep the blog, baby!!!

    You are so funny! That's totally something you would say, too. And me, too!

    Love it!

  2. Very nice darling. I wish I had some cereal AND some crack right about now.