First of all, is heaven supposed to be capitalized? It's a real place. It's holy, like God is holy. God is capitalized. Even when I refer to Him in the middle of a sentence as a pronoun, the pronoun is capitalized. Hmm...something to think about. Probably it should be. I welcome feedback on this. :-)
Anyway, I found out yesterday that my Grandma isn't going to live for very long. A little over a week ago, I was informed that she had choked on her breakfast and was in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia. Her blood pressure spiked to more than 240/something that was WAY too high. She also had a very high fever. Apparently, they were able to drug her up enough to make her blood pressure go down and get the infection under control, but they have not been able to help her swallow any better.
Although Grandma was discharged from the hospital back to the nursing home within a few days, there is definitely something not quite right. On Wednesday, my mom, 2 of her 5 siblings, along with my grandpa and the doctor met to talk about things. There were lots of tears and after lots of discussion, it was decided that Grandma did not want a feeding tube. Her dimentia has progressed significantly and she's expressing a lot of fear about not really understanding what's going on. It's sad, but it's real. She's going to die within a few weeks.
I'm not really sure what to feel about it. I told the family last night and the middle mann's reaction was so sweet. He hung his head down, fussed with his hair and said, "um, that's not cool that Grandma is going to die...ugh...um, well, is she going to get to go to Heaven?" How sweet is that? Both of the boys are pretty upset by the news. The sweet innocence of these two little boys. When they heard that she'd get to do to Heaven, it suddenly became okay that she is going to die.
Softie, on the other hand, is not going so well. I think when he sees my grandparents, he actually sees the reality of his own parents. They are the same age. He's had a very distant relationship
with his dad for more years than I've known him. In fact, they spoke for only the second time in the 11 years I known him on Father's Day this year. I know that when he sees my grandparents deterioration, it really hits home that his own parents will go soon. That the time frame for healing the relationship with his dad is limited. AND that he doesn't know how to build the bridge to reconciliation.