I'm finding it interesting this year as I participate in NaBloPoMo that life for the regular bloggers of the world that this year's contest has been particularly difficult. It could be that we're in the top of the 7th inning just waiting desperately for the chance to stretch.
There is a lot of profound locked up in me and I'm feeling a little afraid, for some crazy reason, to start letting it out again.
I've been all surface here. Talking about today and the here and now. Originally this was supposed to be a place where I vented out all my feelings and some of the darkness I harbor. It would appear to the average onlooker that I must have gotten it all out. In that vein, I feel a little, ummm...well, insincere.
It's definitely good to have a place to journal everyday, but the journaling doesn't empty out my soul the way it did in the beginning. There isn't a relief following each post. Well, there is a little relief. Relief that I got my post done for the day.
I'm going to try and get back on track with my heart here. There's certainly lots that's better in me than last year when I started, but I'm not whole. I don't get things done I should. I don't stop and listen like I should. I don't play like I should. I don't bear my soul like I should.
I know that when I do, things get all stirred up inside and I feel alive again.