In light of my last post, I'm now thinking about the questions that never seem to have answers. And now that I'm ready to write about it, I can only think of one.
Why do I have great ideas and then when I want to remember what they are, why do they disappear? Does this mean something? Was it a bad idea in the first place? Are my great ideas so fleeting that they really don't even exist? Am I the only person who questions their thoughts? If I'm not, why don't I know more people who do? Is there something wrong with admitting to my questions of myself? Will I ever have an answer to that question? or any of these random questions that are currently spinning in my head?
Why does it always seem that everyone around me has it together while I'm barely holding on to the end of a rope, past the knot...where only the frayed ends remain? Why does it surprise people when I admit to not having it all together? Can they not see me? Do I not represent myself accurately? And if I do represent myself accurately, why is it not clear to those looking at me?
Why do I feel an instant need to fill gaps whereever I see them? When I hear that someone has stepped down from a position or that someone's husband will be out of town, I want to jump right in there and help to pick up any slack as a result of the need that appears to me to be there. What if there's not really a gap after all, but I've thumbed in somewhere that I shouldn't have. Why do I try to find ways to blame myself for other peoples decisions that affect others badly?
Why do I continuously ask these random questions?